Awesomeforce and the Planet of Smeerps

A silly interlude game for silly people!

Caput: OK, backstory, incase that helps. You are a group of people from space you have been found guilty of hienious crimes. Because the guilty verdict, and indeed, the charges themselves, were the result of a beurocratic error, your lives have been spared on the condition that you join Awesomforce, an organisation devoted to sending the universes most lethal crooks to fight the universes other most lethal crooks.
Adrian Lemont: I see nothing wrong with this
Spencer Creed: ...
Spencer Creed: I see...
Adrian Lemont: asplain this hadeeb while I plot
Spencer Creed: absolutly nothing...
Caput: Hadeeb is a failed suicide pilot
Spencer Creed: whats there to explain?
Spencer Creed: he is crappy with bombs
Caput: He snipes well. He is bad at blowing people up, but good at being blown up
Spencer Creed: and often finds himself just shooting the target
Adrian Lemont: silly ideas... forming...
Spencer Creed: but this is a dishonour on his name, as he is a suicide bomber, and to not die with the target is a great shame!
Adrian Lemont: now just need a name...
Caput: tech level is hitchhiker's guide, btw
Caput: so anything goes
Caput: don't think to hard. Crappy is fine, and even encouraged
Spencer Creed: send for me on steam when we are ready
Caput: If you want to be a princess from planet generic who wears pastries on her head, go for it
Caput: ok, will do
Darvan Hallan: Dammit, you said Guide.
Adrian Lemont: Guy by the nickname of Skelter. Electrician and mechanic, used to work on a starship. Had slight problems due to the fact he juryrigs fixes to things rather than replace the parts, and thus he's the only person who knows how his ships work. Got blamed for a life support failure on a previous ship he worked on.
Caput: that's a BACKSTORY goddam you
Adrian Lemont: lol
Adrian Lemont: are you afraid of the shake-and-bake backstory?
Caput: ok, one sentance concept, specialisation and weakness
Adrian Lemont: 5 minutes, 3 steps
Caput: Your first WORD OF SCIENCE! is PSYCOACTIVE!
Darvan Hallan: CRYOGENICS!
Adrian Lemont: Electrician and mechanic, specializes in jury rigging fancy contraptions and hotwiring things. Has trouble explaining things to people, and is slightly deranged. Not a good combatent.
Spencer Creed: back
Caput: that's three weaknesses. You may have an extra awesome point for that
Adrian Lemont: not really. speaky and deranged goes together
Caput: but you're not a good comabtant too
Adrian Lemont: whatever
Spencer Creed: CLONES!
Darvan Hallan: And that's Psychoactive*
Spencer Creed: (your a grammer nazi arnt you)
Darvan Hallan: (I like spelling. Shush.)
Spencer Creed: (im considerably better at math and logic then stupid spelling!)
Caput: frag, word? My second for you is ANTIPROTONS!
Spencer Creed: QUANTIM MECHANINICS
Darvan Hallan: Quantum*
Caput: is that 6?
Darvan Hallan:
Adrian Lemont: 5
Adrian Lemont: Psychoactive Cryogenics Clones Antiprotons Quantum Mechanics
Caput: add your own then
Spencer Creed: 1 fancy science word
Spencer Creed: GO
Adrian Lemont: hmm
Adrian Lemont: Oxidation
Caput: ok
Darvan Hallan: Argh!
Spencer Creed: I dislik pople ho insisst on fixin thee speling of neer evary wurd.
Darvan Hallan: Need a concept!
Adrian Lemont: hmmm
Spencer Creed: thats a concept for you darvan
Spencer Creed: english nazi
Adrian Lemont: yes, spacefaring english nazi, punishing misspellers with the power of SCIENCE
Darvan Hallan: XD
Adrian Lemont: maybe a stormtrooper, with the power of INNACURACY
Adrian Lemont: or a former captain, with the power of OVERDRAMATIC ACTING
Spencer Creed: star wars fan I see
Spencer Creed: that second one is first gen startrek
Darvan Hallan: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaam
Darvan Hallan: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM
Spencer Creed: (I was a fan of the second personally)
Adrian Lemont: You... can PLAY... William. SHATNER...
Spencer Creed: (picard could kick kirks ass all over the enterprise)
Adrian Lemont: but he's not as hammy
Darvan Hallan: There are FOUR LIGHTS!
Spencer Creed: JEAN LUKE PICARD HAS THE POWER OF AWESOME!
Darvan Hallan: Jean Luc*. It's French.
Adrian Lemont: Jean Luc Picard
Darvan Hallan: Charlatan.
Spencer Creed: YES!
Spencer Creed: although
Spencer Creed: you wernt supposed to do anything adrian
Adrian Lemont: shall I shout more silly ideas?
Spencer Creed: btw
Caput: I will give you a concept if you aren't careful....
Darvan Hallan: I'm considering the Prerequisite Weird Alien.
Spencer Creed: I insist that part of hadeeb's starting equipment be explosives
Adrian Lemont: good good
Caput: ok, that will do
Adrian Lemont: now, what does his personality does?
Caput: oh absolutely!
Caput: lol morgan is in gm mode
Adrian Lemont: lol
Darvan Hallan: I know his weakness: Can only communicate in opposites.
Spencer Creed: THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE! *DIE!!!*
Adrian Lemont: (and no one's finished a character for the survivacampaign)
Adrian Lemont: There cannot be plurals!
Caput: gming as you understand it has no place here! Personalities are in the stats or non existant! Or funny!
Spencer Creed: im steaming again
Caput: specialisation can be one liners
Darvan Hallan: Hang on, I have it now.
Spencer Creed: *teeth shine*
Darvan Hallan: Disadvantage: He can't speak the common language, so has a translator installed, but due to the peculiarities of his native tongue it comes out the opposite of his intention.
Caput: that's not a disadvantage. THat's just funny
Spencer Creed: (that sounds like after a while it will get annoying)
Caput: but sure, whatever
Caput: actually, good point
Caput: it will only slow things down
Darvan Hallan: Hmm.
Spencer Creed: (and the fact that we will all know its the opposite)
Spencer Creed: (so if he says go left, we go right)
Adrian Lemont: perhaps just that it can't speak except in opposites. instead of "there can only be one", he says "there cannot be plurals". just a glitch in the translator
Spencer Creed: thats not much of a disavantage
Darvan Hallan: "Only a sith deals in absolutes"?
Adrian Lemont: lol
Caput: I am picking your disadvantage for you. You are too fat.
Spencer Creed: YES!
Darvan Hallan: Fair enough.
Adrian Lemont: lol
Caput: sorry, but your stuck with that now
Spencer Creed: I FULLY AGREE
Darvan Hallan: (Why is this hard!?)
Caput: specialisation?
Spencer Creed: EATING!
Darvan Hallan: You do realise this means his specialty has to be - dammit, beaten to it!
Adrian Lemont: (your brain is on sleep mode at the moment)
Darvan Hallan: He can eat anything.
Caput: ok, eating wierd things
Caput: name?
Darvan Hallan: His name is G'bbryxymcl'k't. Or Gabby to his friends.
Caput: also everyone get on his words of science now
Darvan Hallan: And friends are "anyone he hasn't eaten".
Adrian Lemont: UNIVERSAL TRANSLATOR
Spencer Creed: CELLULOUS (fix that one, nazi!)
Darvan Hallan: (That's right, actually.)
Adrian Lemont: cellular
Spencer Creed: no
Spencer Creed: like that fat
Adrian Lemont: cellulite
Caput: ION BEAM!
Spencer Creed: like cellulite is not plural though
Spencer Creed: (can one be CHARGIN MY LAZER)
Darvan Hallan: Is cellulite particularly sciency?
Caput: yes, yes it can
Spencer Creed: IT IS FOR YOU FAT-BOY
Adrian Lemont: google claims "cellulose"
Caput: it is
Spencer Creed: lol
Adrian Lemont: (you ask the scrawny twig about how to spell fat)
Caput: CHARGIN MAH LAZER
Spencer Creed: i dont know if you have been noticing, but im calling darvan the nazi
Caput: one more
Adrian Lemont: TEMPORAL PARADOX
Caput: sweet
Spencer Creed: thats not good...
Caput: now words for the bad guys
Spencer Creed: someone is gonna lose an eye with that
Spencer Creed: poor snake did
Caput: and then we can rock and roll
Spencer Creed: DEATH RAY
Spencer Creed: its obligatory
Adrian Lemont: STASIS FIELD
Darvan Hallan: DEJA VU
Spencer Creed: MINI-ME
Adrian Lemont: (that's not a science word...)
Spencer Creed: it should be!
Adrian Lemont: EVENT HORIZON
Darvan Hallan: DEJA VU
Darvan Hallan:
Caput: lol
Spencer Creed: lol
Adrian Lemont: VUJA DE
Spencer Creed: the feeling that this has never happened before
Spencer Creed: I get that all the time
Spencer Creed: makes it hard to keep a sense of direction
Caput: PSYCHOKENISIS
Spencer Creed: well, location, not direction
Spencer Creed: deathray, stasis field, deja vu, mini-me, event horizon, deja vu, psychokenisis
Caput: ok, everyone clear on the system?
Spencer Creed: thats all of them
Adrian Lemont: pretty much
Caput: ok, tell me the number you got, rather than just success.fail, as that effects margin of succes
Spencer Creed: k
Darvan Hallan: Or just:
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10 => 5
Spencer Creed: i got an 8!
Caput: if you're competing with somebody, ask for the modifier.
Caput: you need to roll multiple dice
Caput: but anyway, do it however you want
* Darvan Hallan rolls: 2d10 => 14
Darvan Hallan: Hmm.
Spencer Creed: a 1, 9, and 4
Spencer Creed: did I win?
Caput: I won't be rolling anything, that's all you
Caput: you did
Adrian Lemont: (where's the dice roll thing?)
Caput: *patpat*
Spencer Creed: wee!
Spencer Creed: (you dont know?)
Adrian Lemont: (it's somewhere)
Darvan Hallan: THe macro is /roll, for the record.
* Adrian Lemont rolls: d20 => 7
Adrian Lemont: kayo
Spencer Creed: (dude, I used it all the time for the last dnd campagn
Caput: ok, read yto play?
Adrian Lemont: ready
Adrian Lemont: (but I didn't, so I didn't bother asking you what it was)
Spencer Creed: (you didnt fix the typo you stupid)
Spencer Creed: anyhow
Spencer Creed: GO!
Caput: darvan?
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb pulls a giant round bomb out of his back pocket and lights it with a match!
Spencer Creed: (jk)
Darvan Hallan: Ready!
Adrian Lemont: woo
Caput: oh, forgot to say, hadeeb gets a sack of bombs, skelter gets an increadiwrench and gabby gets a cloaking cloak
Caput: right
Caput: here we go
Spencer Creed: can I have an atom smasher pocket, that makes the atoms of whatever I put in ther smashed down to fit in it?
Adrian Lemont: then you'd ruin everything you put in it
Spencer Creed: nah, I would just reverse its polarity to put it back
Spencer Creed: (thats 2 of my science words! I want a cookie!)
Adrian Lemont: (Hadeeb gains a cyanide and chocolate cookie)
Caput: THE YEAR IS 20XX. WAR IS BEGINING. On a small space station, hidden at the north pole, a group of prisoners is brought before a man with a metal plate on his head. The man is tall and imposing. He has a manly beard. His name is Dr. Awesomeforce. Inventor of awesome points and founder of the Awesomeforce, who protect earth from the most dangerous people ever to have lived. "Hello. I trust you had a pleasent journy? THey weren't too rough on you in space jail?"
Spencer Creed: "I found the explosives sub-par at best there! all this home-made crap"
Adrian Lemont: *twirls hair vaguely* "They wouldn't let me fix anything..."
Darvan Hallan: --And the food was terrible--, the translator on the neck of the obese alien emits.
Spencer Creed: "that was your cell mate..."
Darvan Hallan: --Your point is?--
Spencer Creed: "..." takes one wide step away from the alien.
Adrian Lemont: "He needed to lose weight. Getting a few bites works for that, right?"
Caput: "I'm sorry to hear that. You will be happy to hear things will be very different from now on. You have been selected from a group of three elite individuals to become Awesomeforce 9, an new team of extrodinary criminals and/or people who were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Unfortunately, Awesomeforce 8 have all killed eachother, so there is little time to brief you, as ou must complete their first mission and yours. Please procede to the equipment area."
Caput: He gestures to a sliding door.
Adrian Lemont: I waddle on through, examining the mechanism as I do.
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb lightly mutters "jingle bombs... jingle bombs..." checking out the stuff.
Darvan Hallan: I hope I fit as I proceed through.
Caput: Hanging on hooks are 3 duraspandex jumpsuits
Adrian Lemont: Fingers the suits with my pinky
Caput: "These suits are indesructable, so please be careful with them."
Spencer Creed: "wait... what?
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb puts one on.
Spencer Creed: (the logic is baffeling)
Darvan Hallan: Gabby also climbs into a jumpsuit. The effect it has on his bulk is... disturbing.
Adrian Lemont: I take it off the hook, and roll into it
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb calmy purges his stomic all over the alien, and then continues on his way.
Caput: "These are your phase pistols. They will stun a man for a few seconds, even though they can knock an elephant out for hours. Due to budget constraints, you will have to find additional equipment in the field, but hey, you're professionals, right?" He opens a case containing 3 things that look like rockets with pistol grips and lights on the ends.
Darvan Hallan: --So the effect of the weapon is inversely proportional to the mass of its target.--
Spencer Creed: (can I change my advantage to he sucks so hard he is awesome? [he still fails on 6's. but 1s are to be treated as 10])
Adrian Lemont: "Pretty..." *twirls the gun, checking out the thing as I do so*
Darvan Hallan: (I'm going to grab some dnner, be back in a bit, guys.)
Caput: "No. It works on the same principle as the anchient m9 silenced pistol used by sneaking mission experts in the pre fission age. THe main difference is that these make a statisfyingly loud noise when fired."
Caput: (as long as it reall is just a bit)
Spencer Creed: hadeeb takes one, "so its a loud-silenced weapon? how invigarating"
Spencer Creed: (damn, the spell nazi left, cant drive him crazy anymore)
Adrian Lemont: *twirltwirl*
Caput: "Your mission is to take possession of Planet Davesphere on behalf of Marscorp. The planet has been found to be too similar to their property, the red planet mars, and is therefore a breach of their copyright. It's evil ruler, the Dark Lord Bunnykins must be brought in or destroyed. Clear?"
Spencer Creed: "no. not at all really..."
Adrian Lemont: "Frosted glass, sir"
Caput: "What do you not understand?"
Caput: "It's a reletively simple mission, afterall."
Spencer Creed: (that would have been a perfect opportunity for the big man to say "too bad")
Caput: (lol)
Caput: "My secretary will habd you detailed documentation as you leave."
Caput: hand*
Spencer Creed: "what happens in the event of our seemingly destined failure?"
Caput: "Force 8's mission is to make contact with the Deepslug. A being that is said to live in the oceans of Moron, the lost planet. Romour has it that the slug is responsible for the recent jovian lottery scandal, in which a mysterious player won seven times in a row, then withdrew all his or her money and vanished. In the event of failiure, begin force 8's mission."
Adrian Lemont: "Sounds clean. To business!" *twirltwirl*
Caput: "Please remember to collect your allocated awesome points on your way to the superluminal catapult."
Spencer Creed: "will you quit that twirling thing? you look like an overaged schoolgirl"
Caput: The floor beneath you lowers. You are on a lift!
Adrian Lemont: (Dramatic!)
Adrian Lemont: I proceed to hold the gun with two fingers from different hands instead.
Caput: Down on the lower floor, the cieling is curved and lit with round blue lights. THe floor is clean whit plastic and the wide corridor cures off to the left.
Caput: a ne lift slides into place over your heads, covering the way up, and your own lift locks into the floor with a hiss.
Caput: a new lift*
Spencer Creed: "infidel lifts! a sign of decadence and corruption!"
Caput: (obviously)
Adrian Lemont: "Ludditic. They are a goodness, showing the vwoom of up and down"
Caput: You hear the sound of banging on the lift above you "Get a move on, you lollygaggers! We're on a tight timetable here!"
Adrian Lemont: *waddle down the hall*
Caput: The fat guy follows
Adrian Lemont: Silly fat guy
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb threatens to bomb things, and then walks down the hall
Caput: Around the corner there is a desck with a little sign on it says "Secretary, Dr. Awesomeforce." THere is a larger sign on it labled "OUT OF ORDER" the desk is unmanned.
Darvan Hallan: (Back. Sorry about that. =/ )
Adrian Lemont: "Need to fix the desk..."
Caput: THe corridor continues in a big circle, gently sloping downwards
Caput: (it's ok)
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb goes to the desk, and searches it
Caput: roll 1d10
Spencer Creed: -what could happen from searching an OoO desk?-
Spencer Creed: ...
Spencer Creed: 4
Caput: Hadeeb finds a notebook about ways to control him with subliminal messages. Apparently the onse in adverts for soya based heroine substitute do the job of preventing people from blowing themselves up well enough "Life's worth living with Heroinette!", so they're sending you to a planet with lots of those.
Adrian Lemont: (yay!)
Caput: the desk looks pretty out of place. It's bashed and wooden in a plastic hallway
Spencer Creed: "Infidels! how dare they steal my sacrafice!"
Spencer Creed: "I will KEEL THEM!"
Caput: there are peanuts in a bowl on the desk
Adrian Lemont: I take the peanuts, and hide them on my person for later use
Caput: good good
Darvan Hallan: At this point I am reminded that I am hungry.
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb places a bomb on the desk. and sets the charge.
Caput: wood is edible
Caput: lol
Caput: I love you
Adrian Lemont: (eat the bomb!)
Spencer Creed: "JIHAD!"
Caput: (guys, run)
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb, however, runs off.
Adrian Lemont: I roll away with fervor and peanuts
Darvan Hallan: Bomb looks inedible. I hurry away.
Caput: all roll
* Adrian Lemont rolls: 1d10 => 5
Spencer Creed: (bombs are also my weakness...)
Caput: fat gabby is at -1 die
Spencer Creed: (what do I roll?)
Caput: oh
Caput: hadeeb is also -1
Caput: 2 dice, pick lowest
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10+d10 => 7 + 6 = 13
* Adrian Lemont rolls: 2d10 => 16
Caput: skelter gets 1
Darvan Hallan: Yay!
Spencer Creed: and if they both are 9?
* Adrian Lemont rolls: d10+d10 => 7 + 8 = 15
Adrian Lemont: yay!
Caput: then they are both 9
Spencer Creed: (BOOM)
Spencer Creed: ?
Caput: ok, you all make it away from the bomb, but the blast follows you down the hall. Skelter falls behing gets hit be a wall of flames. He is proppelled into the back of the fat guy. Apparently, that suit really is togh, but there's now no hair on the back of skelter's head.
Caput: the plastic behind you seems to be melting.
Adrian Lemont: "Silly boom... Eat peanut, evildoer!" *chucks a peanut at Hadeeb's head*
Caput: *PLOP* goes a piece of the cieling
Caput: the peanut bounces off
Caput: and rolls away down the slope
Spencer Creed: "now, to destroy more infidels" walks down the hall, much more satisfied.
Adrian Lemont: "I wanted to fix the desk..." *walks on*
Darvan Hallan: I shake my head (ripply!) and follow the other two.
Spencer Creed: *vomit*
Adrian Lemont: I attempt to fix my hair with the wrench.
Spencer Creed: (roll and succeed, I want to see this)
Caput: around the corner, the slope levels out. You are now under where the lift took you too. There are 3 girls wearing tiny latex outfits. They have rediculous enhanced figures and giant boobs, streatching their clothes to the point of near transparency. Deffinately got plastic skeletons in there to be that shape. Each had a tray around her neck with 5 awesomepoints on it. One of them simpers and says "Hi. You must be the agents. *titter*"
Caput: yes, roll. +1 die for concept.
Caput: (so roll two, pick highest)
* Adrian Lemont rolls: 1d10+1d10 => 1 + 8 = 9
Caput: ok, you fix your hair. Nobody will notice.
Caput: The bolts hardly show, and they hardly hurt.
Caput: and that felt is almost the same colour.
Adrian Lemont: (lol)
Spencer Creed: ...
Caput: The rediculous girls enter your personaly space. The one by skelter is orange and has a third eye in the middle of her forehead.
Adrian Lemont: 'must... fix... eye...'
Caput: Skelter's head hurts. This girl isn't psycic, is she?
Caput: The girl looks at you quizzicaly.
Adrian Lemont: I return the silly look
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb takes the points he is offered, as proclaims "did I finally die for alah?"
Caput: The more human one infront of Gabby offers a couple of points. "Here ya go, hero."
Darvan Hallan: I take the points. Hurrah!
Caput: "No, but if you come back alive, you won;t know the difference. Heehee." She has a slightly stunned expression, like she's a newborn puppy, or an idiot.
Spencer Creed: (im gonna go with the second one)
Caput: THe orange girl waves an awesomepoint infront of Skelter's face/ "helloooo?"
Adrian Lemont: "Mooo." I carefully whiddle the point from her
Caput: SHe gives you the rest
Spencer Creed: (is skelter broken?)
Adrian Lemont: (he's odd. doesn't get how to do things besides fixing)
Caput: Hadeeb's girl poits a slender arm around another circling corner. "The catapolt's that way. See you it the impact zone if you make it back, alright?"
Spencer Creed: (brb)
Caput: (kk)
Adrian Lemont: Wanders off to catapult. Mebbe I can fix it!
Spencer Creed: (back, damn dog)
Caput: as skelter turns his back, the girl stick an extra awesome point into his back pocket and squeezes.
Adrian Lemont: I wooze forth out from under the girl.
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb goes off to the 'catapult' and hopes its not how it sounds.
Adrian Lemont: (It is exactly what it sounds, and more!)
Caput: The catapult looks like a bus from a 50s idea of the future. THere are fins, there are round windows. It's on a rail that slopes up out of a hole in the wall.
Darvan Hallan: To the catapult! Wobblily!
Spencer Creed: "make sure to fire the fat one, first. so we have a soft landing"
Adrian Lemont: "Ooh. Gotta fix it..." I wander in, and start checking under the floor panels"
Darvan Hallan: --Excuse me?--
Caput: as you leave, you hear the girls chatting. The orange one is wondering if she should get more boobs. The others are discussing wether Gabby would eat the girl who approached him. THey agree that would be too kiny for thier taste.
Spencer Creed: (what, they arnt into vore?)
Caput: inside the catapult there are seats. There is a toilet room at the back.
Spencer Creed: how... does that even work...
Adrian Lemont: *check under the seats for spare parts. I can pimp this ride!*
Caput: there is only one control: A red button marken "IGNITION! DO NOT PRESS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!"
Caput: there is a panal in the bathroom floor and a drinks cabinet at the front.
Adrian Lemont: (big red button hadeeb go!)
Caput: othet than that and the button, it's just seats.
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb shoots the mech-maniac with his stun gun, and then presses the big red button
Adrian Lemont: *bzzzzzz*
Spencer Creed: "FOR ALAH!
Caput: ok, hadeeb roll
Spencer Creed: "
Spencer Creed: 8
Caput: you get an extra die because he's bad at combat
Spencer Creed: still 8
Caput: ok
Caput: The mech goes down
Caput: He snores
Spencer Creed: (how does my sniping advantage work?)
Adrian Lemont: "Wanted to... fix...zzzzzzzzzz"
Adrian Lemont: (not when I'm right in front of you)
Caput: Well, if you are doing something I'd call sniping (which needs something liek a long distance, a rifle or something like that) you get an extra die to the attempt.
Caput: The words LUNCH IMMININT! flash in red on the windscreen. THe door slash shut and hisses.
Caput: THe thing creeps forward.
Caput: there is a high pitched whir
Caput: oh dear lights flashing on the cieling
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb sits in his chair, and buckles up (im gonna let the alien make the food jokes)
Caput: a cool female voice says "please return to your seats."
Adrian Lemont: *snore*
Darvan Hallan: I take several seats.
Caput: then the thing goes ZOOM
Caput: too slow. You must roll. -1 die
Adrian Lemont: *Bounceacrossthecatapultlikethump*
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10+d10 => 10 + 8 = 18
Adrian Lemont: (best onomonapeia ever)
* Adrian Lemont rolls: 1d10+1d10 => 10 + 4 = 14
Spencer Creed: 8
Caput: ok, gabby gets four seats
Spencer Creed: (again)
Spencer Creed: (sheesh)
Caput: hadeeb gets 1
Spencer Creed: and skelter is out
Adrian Lemont: (I get whatever I bounce into)
Caput: there is a bright flash as you leave the earth behind
Caput: THe mech hits the back wall
Caput: the stars around you blur and the voice says "Decelleration imminent
Adrian Lemont: « asleep = Invalid expression: asleep »"My eyes are making rainbows..."
Spencer Creed: "I like my cells right where they are, thank you"
Caput: THere is a sudden thump and a massive jolt. The fat guy hits the windshiels, the mech hits the fat guy and the only guy bluckled in is very very happy about that.
net.rptools.parser.ParserException: Unresolved value 'still' error executing expression: still asleep
Caput: Fat guy roll at -1
Caput: brb
Adrian Lemont: (still asleep)"Lard pillow!"
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10+d10 => 5 + 10 = 15
Darvan Hallan: Hurrah!
Spencer Creed: yes!
* Adrian Lemont rolls: d10 => 1
Spencer Creed: I see...
Spencer Creed: ouch for the mech
Adrian Lemont: (this is all your fault)
Spencer Creed: hey
Spencer Creed: dont blame this on me, I HAD to blow up that desk
Adrian Lemont: (and shooting me?)
Darvan Hallan: Squish?
Spencer Creed: i had to stop you from "fixing" the pod before we used it
Adrian Lemont: I fix things good!
Spencer Creed: I still got to shoot you
Caput: sorry
Caput: Ok, that fat guy goes thoug hthe screen
0%20dollar%20bill: and the sleeping mechanic?
Adrian Lemont: *skidoosh!*
Caput: The mech falls on the fat guy and bounces up into the vehicle, slumped over the back of the seat.
Caput: THe nose is burried in the ground
Caput: red ground.
Caput: the bac kof A seat, sorry.
Adrian Lemont: (sleepnonsense)"I said I could fix the bumper cars better..."
Caput: he's next to Hadeeb
Caput: He wakes up.
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb gab's the mechanic by the leg, and throws him down. he then aims, and unbluckles himself to land on the alien
Adrian Lemont: "They dinnt believe me..."
Caput: roll once for each. -1 for Skelter, due to his weakness.
* Adrian Lemont rolls: 1d10+1d10 => 8 + 5 = 13
Spencer Creed: 10
Adrian Lemont: (how does awesome point work?)
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10 => 2
Adrian Lemont: (a +1, or an extra dice, or what?)
Spencer Creed: like willpower basically
Caput: (oh, guys, I forgot to mention, you get extra awesome points when you do awesome things, so Hadeebs gets a sixth for his bomb. It appeared out of the air)
Adrian Lemont: (for later reference, since I already rolled)
Caput: (+1 die)
Spencer Creed: (I have a bag of bombs, of COURSE im awesome!)
Adrian Lemont: (can I roll to see if all this trauma wakes me up?)
Caput: (sorry, skelter doesn't roll to resist being thrown)
Caput: The mech is very thrown
Caput: a LOT
Adrian Lemont: (I was rolling to resist ouchy on landing)
Darvan Hallan: (You're awake already, I seed it.)
Caput: (don't worry about that)
Spencer Creed: at the general direction of the fat guy, at least
Spencer Creed: (im assuming my tray is not in the upright position, anyways)
Caput: Hadeeb roll to land on the fat guy.
Spencer Creed: (aka, the ship is nose down)
Spencer Creed: I did already, 10
Caput: ship is nose downish, yes
Caput: I thought that was to throw skelter?
Spencer Creed: ah
Spencer Creed: in that case
Spencer Creed: 6
Caput: you land on the alien. Gabby roll.
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10 => 5
Caput: (1 die)
Caput: ouch
Caput: that hurts like a bitch
Adrian Lemont: "My spleen needs fixing. Why did you break it?"
Spencer Creed: "Silence! I kill you infidel!"
Spencer Creed: "we have a mission! and by alah! we will do it!"
Caput: You are now all in the bottom of a small crater. The earth (or should I say the davesphere?) beneath your feet is red.
Caput: THe sky above has purplish clouds
Adrian Lemont: I crawl up onto hadeeb and fix his brain into a less violent state, by channeling my awesomeness
Caput: that would be the red dust and the blue sun, presumably
Caput: explain
Spencer Creed: "dont make me shoot you again"
Adrian Lemont: I take my wrench, and tweak his head until he stops being violent
Caput: ok, skelter roll at -1
Adrian Lemont: if it can fix hair, surely it can fix brainstems
Spencer Creed: I dont get to opose this?
Adrian Lemont: (counting the awesomepoint?)
Spencer Creed: oppose this*
Caput: (I am ruling that you can spend awesomepoints to reduce rolls against you now)
Spencer Creed: O_o
Caput: (so that's what you do to oppose. It's assumed you're resisting when you make the roll)
Caput: (otherwise, skelter just rolls)
Spencer Creed: so what, I roll at -1 now also
Adrian Lemont: (-1 counting my awesomepoint spend? or -1, then +1 for awesomepoint?)
Caput: (what? whaere did you get that?)
Spencer Creed: he is making it penalise me, not bonus you
Adrian Lemont: Adrian Lemont: I crawl up onto hadeeb and fix his brain into a less violent state, by channeling my awesomeness
Adrian Lemont: right right
* Adrian Lemont rolls: 1d10+1d10 => 6 + 2 = 8
Spencer Creed: 2
Spencer Creed: ouch
Spencer Creed: ah well
Spencer Creed: so do I GET a roll, or what
Spencer Creed: (or do I have to sit back and watch my head get wrenched)
Caput: (ah wait, if skelter spends a point, that cancels his penalty, so he's at one normal die. However, if hadeeb spends a point, that's a penalty to skelter)
Caput: guys shut up
Caput: you are making complications and theories faster than I can type
Adrian Lemont: (yay)
Caput: no opposed rolls
Spencer Creed: you type slow
Caput: this is a simple one roll syste,
Caput: that;'s because I keep tying to answer more questions and stopping to read things
Caput: and because when I type fast it looks like greek mixed with nonsense
Spencer Creed: I will spend one awesome point in the name of alah!
Caput: ok
Adrian Lemont: which cancels out mine, so 2
Caput: Wee need some kind of system where if you want to make a roll against somebody, they say if they spend before the roll
Caput: ok
Caput: skelter got a 2? Is that what we're saying?
Adrian Lemont: da
Spencer Creed: I hatred of infidels is an awesome force, that within the nonoseconds of time you take your wrench to my head, I will resist!
Caput: He fails. Hadeeb avoids your wrench and is now able to strike back for great justice
Adrian Lemont: (skelter is now climbing on hadeeb like a monkey of sorts, prodding his head with a wrenchywrench. and failing)
Caput: good stuff

Spencer Creed: (all this, on top of the fat man)
Adrian Lemont: (yes)
Caput: yes
Caput: Gabby smells pancakes and meat. What are those black things on the floor?
Adrian Lemont: (hot dogs. go for them)
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb will simply toss the mechanic aside, and climb the side of the crater.
Darvan Hallan: I follow my nose!
Adrian Lemont: "Nyerp!" *splat*
Caput: roll to get up. -2 dice
Spencer Creed: (fat man alien is now toocan sam?)
* Adrian Lemont rolls: 1d10+1d10+1d10 => 2 + 9 + 3 = 14
Spencer Creed: not you, the fat man
Caput: sorry, that was for fatface
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10+d10+d10 => 5 + 6 + 10 = 21
Spencer Creed: 1 for being fat, and 1 because no one likes fat people
Adrian Lemont: lol
Caput: you stuggle like a tortoise tunred upsidedown
Darvan Hallan: I attempt to create rolling momentum.
Spencer Creed: (actually, im sure it has something to do with the people on top of him)
Caput: (1 for having the shit beaten out of him)
Caput: ok, gabby is rolling around
Spencer Creed: (squish the mech!)
Adrian Lemont: I roll away to my feets
Caput: OK, two upright, one to go
Caput: in the meantime, what do you gus do?
Caput: guys*
Adrian Lemont: Then try to help fix the fatman back into his upright position
Spencer Creed: (its been 2 hours, and we are just now getting to the destination)
Adrian Lemont: (new record!)
Caput: lol
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb sticks his head out of the top of the crater and looks around
Caput: (it's like paranoia that way, I guess> Only there have been no deaths)
Adrian Lemont: (not for lack of trying)
Caput: A fuzzy face greats you, with tastyness on top of it. It's a smearp wearing a ceramonial jackflappen.
Spencer Creed: if my gun was not a stun gun, I would have probably by now
Darvan Hallan: (lol)
Caput: fatman is up and about
Darvan Hallan: FOOD! I attempt to eat the smeerp and its jackflappen.
Caput: there are blackend ones all over the floor
Caput: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CallARabbitASmeerp
Caput: for those who don't know it
Adrian Lemont: smeerp
Caput: ok, fat boy, roll 1 for the eating (hunger cancells out fat)
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10 => 7
Adrian Lemont: omnom
Darvan Hallan: OMNOMNOM
Adrian Lemont: (You eat Sandvich. Gain 120HP)
Caput: you get it. Another smeepr says "Shit dude." to yet a third smeerp. They both run like hell.
Caput: mmmm tasty smeerp. Tasty jackflappen.
Spencer Creed: "You infidelus glutton! your scareing the natives!"
Spencer Creed: "we need them to find their leader!"
Adrian Lemont: "You'da blown them without"
Caput: Above the line of the crater there is flat red ground with the occasional flower growing out of it. You have landed on a railroad, making a decent gap in it. It goes to the horizon on one side and a group of domes on the other.
Spencer Creed: (is it just me, or did that sentence make no sense)
Adrian Lemont: (Skelter makes no sense. He fixes things by poking them with a metal stick)
Caput: the catapult really does look very broken
Spencer Creed: "do I hear a pre-nuclear fusion train coming?"
Caput: no you don;t
Adrian Lemont: (He should go stand on the tracks and check, though)
Caput: yesm yes he should
Spencer Creed: *proceeds to climb out of the crater, and then offers to help the heretics out of the hole*
Spencer Creed: (the tracks lead INTO the hole, right?)
Caput: yes
Adrian Lemont: I refuse the silly help, preferring to roll out myself
Caput: ok, no roll for that.
Caput: unless you're fat, in which case it's 1 die
Spencer Creed: *helps the fat guy out*
Darvan Hallan: Yay help!
Caput: now it's two dice
Spencer Creed: (wow, we are hating on fat-man)
Spencer Creed: (watch him fail anyways)
Caput: (lol)
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10+d10 => 4 + 6 = 10
Caput: OK, fat infidel out
Spencer Creed: (barely)
Caput: lol
Caput: it is pretty difficult, but you manage
Caput: A flying saucer whirs over head, shines a light on you, then speeds away.
Darvan Hallan: Too high to eat. Damn.
Spencer Creed: "glutton." Hadeeb runs off towards the domes.
Caput: (I imagine him as looking like quina quin)
Darvan Hallan: (YES.)
Darvan Hallan: I follow the infidel.
Adrian Lemont: I roll on after them
Spencer Creed: your the infidel...
Caput: wobble wobble
Spencer Creed: as is the mechanic
Caput: when you say roll?
Darvan Hallan: To you. To me you're an infidel.
Adrian Lemont: preferably with my arms out to my sides, so I look like a ridiculous top
Adrian Lemont: (roll. like in a ball)
Caput: ah
Adrian Lemont: (he moves faster that way)
Caput: fantastic
Spencer Creed: (everyone in the party is utterly insane)
Adrian Lemont: (running is a stupid skill for stupid people)
Caput: after about an hour and a half, you are near the domes
Adrian Lemont: (rolling is classy)
Darvan Hallan: (Wasn't that inevitable?)
Caput: There is a high fence around them, with a gate across the tracks.
Adrian Lemont: (to himself)"If I push off every third flop, I should gain a good increase in woosh..."
Caput: On the gate is a large image of a black skull crying tears of blood.
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb looks at the gate. and ponders (none of my science words are any good)
Adrian Lemont: (can darvan eat the sign?)
Adrian Lemont: What's the fence made of?
Caput: (potentially, I guess)
Caput: metal grid
Adrian Lemont: Wrench time!
Spencer Creed: "yes, please, fix the fence..."
Spencer Creed: "its broken, the gate is shut"
Adrian Lemont: I set forth to OXIDATE the fence. Should that work, I push the silly fatman into it like a katamari
Caput: Roll at +1
* Adrian Lemont rolls: 1d10+1d10 => 8 + 9 = 17
Caput: (did you roll your word randomly? You are meant to)
Adrian Lemont: rusty fence
Adrian Lemont: (yes)
Caput: (yay)
Adrian Lemont: (do I cross it off now?)
Caput: (nope)
Adrian Lemont: (yay!)
Caput: (it's reusable)
Caput: You manage to rust the fence and crsh it with a fat body, assuming the fat body is willing.
Adrian Lemont: (There is no decision. If you are not done, you must roll.)
Spencer Creed: if its not willing it should still be able
Darvan Hallan: I rollcharge! Hurrah!
Caput: *CRASH* fence goes down
Adrian Lemont: (We left a present for you inside that fence, but we forgot where we left it. We're sure you'll find it while you roll)
Spencer Creed: the fat is an advantage in that case...
Caput: ok, move on?
Adrian Lemont: *roll*'
Darvan Hallan: COntinue!
Spencer Creed: *menacing gait*
Caput: all make a roll at -1
* Adrian Lemont rolls: 1d10+1d10 => 8 + 3 = 11
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10+d10 => 6 + 7 = 13
Spencer Creed: shit
Spencer Creed: 3
Adrian Lemont: (brb PILLZ)
Caput: Ok, Skelter and Hadeeb both freese. Only their eyes are moving. Gabby recognises the blue twinkles around them as a powerful STASIS FIELD, probable emenating from those landmine shaped things their standin on.
Caput: If you touch it, you'll freeze too
Spencer Creed: (if only I could move, I could do something about it!)
Darvan Hallan: (I need a sixth Science Word, I think.)
Adrian Lemont: (my rolling is broken!)
Caput: yes, you can add something with a poinmt and a word.
Caput: (UNIVERSAL TRANSLATOR, CELLULITE, ION BEAM, CHARGIN MAH LAZER, TEMPORAL PARADOX.)
Spencer Creed: (lets see. I rolled 5.. Reverse polarity)
Darvan Hallan: (That's 5, not 6, surely?)
Caput: (ah
Spencer Creed: (mini-me)
Caput: I was reading universal translator as 2)
Spencer Creed: (no wait, that was the villian)
Caput: (you can have BIOPLASM!)
Spencer Creed: With the power of awesome, i attempt to reverse the polarity of this trap!
Caput: (the world changing is based on luck. That means you don't try, it just happens. Roll normaly)
Spencer Creed: 7
Caput: OK, Hadeeb's stasis twinkles turn bright red. A fortuitous error has turned the trap into an action field. He's propelled high into the air.
Caput: Gabby, roll to get out of his way.
Adrian Lemont: *pew!*
Spencer Creed: "GAHHHHHHH"
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10+d10 => 3 + 5 = 8
Darvan Hallan: Yaaaaay
Adrian Lemont: (Yaaaaa*SCRUNCH*)
Spencer Creed: "thankyou again for the soft landing, fat one"
Caput: Ok, Hadeeb, roll luck (normal roll unless you spend awesome)
Spencer Creed: 8
Caput: sorry, you haven't come down yet
Caput: ok
Caput: now you land on the fat guy
Caput: *boing*
Caput: Now that you look, there's a few of these stasis things around. Your techie is still stuck.
Spencer Creed: (is there a way to pick up the mines without triggering them?)
Caput: you can try
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb pulls his hands into the sleeves of his jumpsuit, and attempts to pick up the action mine, and throw it at the mechanic.
Caput: ok, roll.
Spencer Creed: (these mines dont count as explosives do they)
Spencer Creed: 8
Caput: (no they don't)
Caput: you pick it up and throw it.
Caput: it stops in the air several inches from skelter's face. THe sparks turn purple and skelter starts to rotate.
Spencer Creed: (oh shit, what have I done!?)
Caput: There is a rising noise. THere seem to be more and more sparks.
Adrian Lemont: *vroom!*
Adrian Lemont: (you crossed the streams!)
Caput: Suddenly, the mechanic shoots into the air
Caput: He goes even higher than you did. Then the stasis mine explodes.
Spencer Creed: "look at that, infidels can fly"
Caput: People on the ground, roll to avoide explosiongpain.
Adrian Lemont: "Something broke me. Why must I break? Air bad."
Spencer Creed: 7
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10 => 2
Spencer Creed: wait
Adrian Lemont: (the fatguy wants to die first. well, I won't let him!)
Spencer Creed: that IS an explosion
Spencer Creed: and fat man is fat
Spencer Creed: we both need to reroll
Caput: Ok, the fat guy gets knocked into another stasis mine by the explosive force.
Spencer Creed: weaknesses and what=haveyou
Adrian Lemont: (you were aiming at me, not fatguy. fire goes everywhere)
Caput: THe mechanic falls onto the fat guy and freezes head down
Adrian Lemont: (whee!)
Spencer Creed: (well crap, I tried to save 1, and got another trapped by mistake)
Adrian Lemont: (mistake. sure)
Caput: If you're at a loss, spend and use a word.
Spencer Creed: remind me how science words work again
Darvan Hallan: I attempt to overload the stasis trap using my sheer bulk of CELLULOSE.
Caput: spend a point, make a roll on the word table, then make a success roll.
Spencer Creed: (i LIKE it)
Darvan Hallan: With awesomeness and such.
Caput: success roll result?
Darvan Hallan: How many, just one or two?
Spencer Creed: 1
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10 => 2
Darvan Hallan: Yaaaaaaaay
Spencer Creed: damn
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb sits down infront of the frozen masses, and begins to pray...
Caput: Ok... I now have to somehow make cellulose scew this u for you....
Adrian Lemont: (His fat freezes in an uncomfortable position)
Spencer Creed: he then gets up, and looks around for the other mines, and continues on his way
Adrian Lemont: (jerk!)
Spencer Creed: (I have a plan!)
Caput: A rain from heave! Like mana in the desert or something! (do islamists even believe in that?) As a saucer flys overhead, blocks of cellulose fall from the sky.
Spencer Creed: (but first I need to gain awesome points by being an asshole!)
Spencer Creed: its raining fat?
Caput: SOme of them hit Hadeeb on the head. Others start triggering stasis mines.
Adrian Lemont: woo
Adrian Lemont: (A rain from heave. strangely appropriate typo)
Adrian Lemont: (I picture an alien vomiting up fat onto us)
Caput: Cellulose is plant matter. Cellulite is fat. Which is it?
Adrian Lemont: fat
Spencer Creed: cellulite
Caput: it's in rectangular blocks
Caput: ok
Caput: it's fat blocks
Spencer Creed: LARD
Caput: they go flop
Spencer Creed: ALL OF IT
Caput: essentially, yes
Caput: ok, the mines are going off as fat hits them
Caput: what's Hadeeb doing?
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb, stops where he stands for a moment. lard rolling in the wind... he stretches, and cracks his knucles, standing still. he spits, and then turns, draws, and fires his gun at the mine that holds his friends, in one solid motion.
Adrian Lemont: (pewpew)
Spencer Creed: 8
Spencer Creed: (wow, 8 loves me today)
Caput: roll. +1 sniping because I feel generous, -1 rain of fat.
Caput: Hadeeb hits the mine.
Caput: It falls over. The base of it is now immerssed in melting fat and starting to smoke.
Caput: It flickers and dies.
Caput: you are free
Spencer Creed: "come infidels, you are freed from the devil's prison. now follow me and redeem yourselves in the eye and name of alah!"
Adrian Lemont: *flump* Skelter lands with his face spewed into the ground, arms stuck behind him
Caput: fat guy lands on skelter
Adrian Lemont: "Must fix self first, please hold."
Darvan Hallan: I get off Skelter.
Spencer Creed: -_-;
Adrian Lemont: "My other spleen. I liked having a spare..."
Adrian Lemont: "Wanna donate a spleen?"
Spencer Creed: (the fat guy probably has 7)
Caput: (actually, he has 38)
Adrian Lemont: (orly)
Caput: (yes)
Spencer Creed: (O.o)
Caput: (they are very small though)
Caput: a hover truck whooshes over your head
Caput: it's low enough to blow your hair around.
Caput: It sprays fat everywhere
Adrian Lemont: *splorch*
Caput: once it's a few feet away from you, it dumps a crat of smeerps
Caput: crate*
Caput: they don't seem pleased.
Adrian Lemont: I check the closest one, and steal his spiffy hat
Caput: he has none
Adrian Lemont: Skelter is sad.
Spencer Creed: hadeeb looks at the smeerps, and then at the dome. "lets get going, shall we?"
Caput: "Oh, hi. Are you trash too?"
Adrian Lemont: "I'm working on fixing that. You no want to be trash?"
Caput: "What?"
Adrian Lemont: (now I'm trying to figure out how to fix a smeerp. It's kinda hard without the hat)
Caput: Another truck passes, going the other way and spraying more fat. You are now covered in fat.
Caput: (you need to find it a hat)
Spencer Creed: (DAMN YOU POWER OF CELLULITE)
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb picks up a smeerp, and uses him to wipe his face clean.
Caput: "Wow. Thanks man. That's just awesome."
Adrian Lemont: (you're welcome)
Spencer Creed: "SILENCE INFIDEL! I KILL YOU!" hadeeb tosses him aside. and walks towards the dome.
Caput: A smeerp declares himself kind of trashland and wanders away to establish a capital. Some of the others follow him back the way you came.
Darvan Hallan: I shake my head, mutter something about --First on the plate when the Devourer comes-- and follow Hadeeb. Habeed. One of the two.
Adrian Lemont: I roll off after him, trying to fashion the fat into a hat
Caput: now that you know of the mines, they are easy to avoide
Caput: fat makes a poor hat
Adrian Lemont: (what about a bat?)
Spencer Creed: fashion one into a cat!
Adrian Lemont: how about that
Spencer Creed: a cat that is eating a rat!
Caput: Eventually, you reach another gate. This one is open, but attended by robots. "HALT NO DICARDED INDIVIDUAL MAY RE-ENTER THE DOME AREA"
Adrian Lemont: (we're not discarded, so obviously we're cool)
Adrian Lemont: (we just never had cards in the first place)
Spencer Creed: "ah, but we were never in the dome, thus we arnt discared, and not "RE" entering anything"
Spencer Creed: "but we are individuals, thus we should be allowed into the dome!"
Caput: "AN INTERESTING ARGUEMENT EXPLAIN YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES OR BE OBLITERATED"
Spencer Creed: "we are from off- planet!"
Caput: "WELCOME ALIEN AMBASSADORS CHRIST THE SAVIOUR BE PRAISED!
Spencer Creed: *TWITCH-TWITCH*
Adrian Lemont: I grab Hadeeb, and forcibly waltz him into the dome
Caput: "YOU AND YOUR PET MAY ENTER"
Adrian Lemont: "Don't break. Breaking bad."
Darvan Hallan: I follow. --Pet?--
Adrian Lemont: (I'm a good pet)
Caput: "I WAS ADDRESSING YOU"
Caput: the robots go back into passive mode
Caput: you can tell because ther eyes don't glow
Spencer Creed: "YE-S, Come.... PET!" Hadeeb is breaking...
Adrian Lemont: I fix him!
* Adrian Lemont rolls: 1d10 => 10
Caput: how?
Caput: opk, he's fixed
Caput: how do you want him fixed?
Spencer Creed: TIME dilation!
Adrian Lemont: (reminding him of the babes that wait for him in the afterlife)
Adrian Lemont: (and how they'll fix him)
Caput: ok, you are reminded of afterlife babes.
Spencer Creed: 72 virgins? or 72 crystal clear raisins...
Adrian Lemont: (always thought that was an amusing afterlife thing. none of this eternal happiness and shit, there's gonna be babes there!)
Caput: you get both. You are a future maniac. Even paradise has become a utoia by it's own standards!
Adrian Lemont: (woo!)
Darvan Hallan: (What's the difference between eternal happiness and babes?)
Adrian Lemont: (one involves harps and sitting on clouds. one is much more interactive)
Spencer Creed: (one has decidedly less sex)
Caput: You are greated by a short human in a black robe
Caput: it has a small, squeky voice "Greetings aliens. From where do you hail?"
Darvan Hallan is disconnected.
Adrian Lemont: "My house"
Adrian Lemont: (woo)
Spencer Creed: "the planet ALAH"
Caput: "I have never heard of such a place in all my long parsecs are area greeting bitch. God's universe never ceases to amaze!"
Spencer Creed: "Muhamad, Ala"
Darvan Hallan has connected.
Darvan Hallan: (*kicks internet*)
Caput: hi
Spencer Creed: (we have established we are from the planet Muhamad, Alah)
Adrian Lemont: (whereas I am from my house)
Caput: "I shall take you to greeting zone 19 0 33 2, where you will await the evil lord bunnykins, if he can be roused from his afternoon movie. May jesus watch over you." he waddles away. Follow?
Adrian Lemont: *roll*
Darvan Hallan: We follow!
Caput: this area looks dirty.
Spencer Creed: follow... *twitch*
Adrian Lemont: I am now wearing dirt.
Caput: rusty, even. You go up a couple of lists and into a place with 70s walpaper
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb looks at his bag of bombs. and thinks.
Caput: you get brought to a waiting room type of place, right next to a corridor with cones in it blacking the way, and a sign that says "PROTON CORE! DANGER OF DOME DESTRUCTION! DO NOT CONSUME! NO ENTRY! SECURITY HAZARD! EVERYTHING ELSE BAD! DON'T COME IN, MUCH LESS BREAK IT! GOD DAMN IT! YOU'LL KILL US ALL!"
Caput: the waiting room is nice and comfortable
Adrian Lemont: omnom
Caput: the midget sings quietly to you to pass the time
Caput: the sign had little lights on it that blinked when you passed
Caput: "Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down..."
Caput: the lights go out
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb eyes the proton core hallway
Caput: it's dark now
Adrian Lemont: Skelter hums along while attempting to fix his dirt problem
Caput: "Sorry, that will be the proton core again. It's rediculously unstable."
Caput: the midget switches to hymns
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb stands up. "please, allow my associate to look at it. he is a very skilled mechanic"
Caput: it's so dark it might be hard to see a large alien
Spencer Creed: (or let the fat alien eat him, PLEASE)
Caput: even if it was sneaking up on a tasty thing singing "all things bright and beautiful"
Spencer Creed: (fat man! this is what you were born to do! EAT HIM!)
Caput: lol
Darvan Hallan: I eat the midget!
Caput: roll. +2.
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10+d10+d10 => 2 + 7 + 4 = 13
Darvan Hallan: OMNOMNOMNOMNOM
Spencer Creed: looks like it was needed...
Caput: "I regret nothiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!"
Caput: he;s delicious
Caput: he wriggles inside you. Most excellent
Caput: although there is robe stuck in your teeth
Darvan Hallan: The translator provides us with --Belch--.
Spencer Creed: "mechanic! to the power core!"
Spencer Creed: " I want you to fix it with this, its an attachment mod for it!" Hands the mech a bomb
Adrian Lemont: "I can fix it!" *rolls at joyous speed, slightly faster than jubilant speed*
Caput: (if you guys want to decide if that flys wit ha roll, fione, otherwise morgan can choose)
Adrian Lemont: (he wants to fix!)
Caput: ok, roll for corridor in the dark.
* Adrian Lemont rolls: 1d10 => 3
Adrian Lemont: aww
Caput: mechanic trips on a cone!
Darvan Hallan: I shoot my stun beam ahead for the providance of ilumination!
Adrian Lemont: (how do I trip if I'm rolling? oh wells)
Caput: He slides, and the bomb gets away from him. It beeps.
Adrian Lemont: *splat thunktunk*
Spencer Creed: (O.o)
Adrian Lemont: "Oops. That's not fixing it. Must fix!"
Adrian Lemont: What's the timer on the bomb>
Caput: The bomb is quite far away
Spencer Creed: (O.o
Caput: I dunno. Hadeeb set it!
Spencer Creed: (O.o; )
Adrian Lemont: "What did you fix it for?"
Spencer Creed: (hadeeb didnt set it yet)
Adrian Lemont: (oh dear)
Caput: ah
Adrian Lemont: (even better, no one knows!)
Caput: well, it beeps again
Adrian Lemont: (don't make fragile bombs!)
Spencer Creed: (ITS MY WEAKNESS!)
Adrian Lemont: I roll over to correct my mistake, and do it properly
Caput: ok, runn or fix bomb?
Adrian Lemont: fix bomb.
Spencer Creed: fixbomb, FAST
Darvan Hallan: Run!
Spencer Creed: OUT VOTED FAT BOY!
Darvan Hallan: Unless they fix bomb.
Caput: ok, roll at neutral (+1 class, -1 dark)
* Adrian Lemont rolls: 1d10 => 9
Adrian Lemont: I can fix it!
Caput: bomb stopps beeping
Caput: what now?
Adrian Lemont: beating things with a wrench solves everything!
Spencer Creed: (engineer...)
Adrian Lemont: I pick it up, and continue to this mystical core that needs fixing
Caput: ok, the corridor eventually leads to a room lit by pink light. A tall guy in a dark cloak is twiddling knobs on the central machine. A huge red columb rises out of it.
Spencer Creed: (fatman! eat him!)
Caput: THere's a pink lightning strike
Caput: going up the columb
Spencer Creed: (is this what I think it is? a giant plasma ball?)
Caput: (nearly)
Caput: THe tall guy turns around "Who the hell? He's the very double of the little guy, only not little.
Spencer Creed: "we have come to fix the power core!"
Caput: "What in the name of christ?"
Spencer Creed: "INFIDEL!" shoots him with a stun gun
Caput: ok, roll normally
Spencer Creed: damn...
Spencer Creed: 5
Spencer Creed: "uhh... little help guys?"
Caput: you miss... and hit the core. BZZZZzzZZZSEEEEeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp
Adrian Lemont: "Behold my fixing might!" I slap the bomb down next to the cylinder, and hit the big red button.
Darvan Hallan: Well since we're going to die anyway, I begin to consume the tall guy.
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10 => 10
Caput: "Die, herretic!" He whips out a lond black weapon from under that cloak. It's disturbingly phallic for something with that many spikes on it. something that evil can only be *ghasp* a DEATHRAY! *ZAPZAPZAP* roll at -1
Caput: all of you
Caput: then you can try and eat him
* Adrian Lemont rolls: d10+d10 => 1 + 3 = 4
Adrian Lemont: ow.
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10+d10 => 6 + 10 = 16
Spencer Creed: CHAOS SCUM!
Spencer Creed: 6
Spencer Creed: (HE IS A CHAOS SPACE MARINE!)
Caput: Skelter gets a leg shot off!
Caput: Now fat alien can roll to be eatan
Caput: g
Darvan Hallan: So the roll above counts not? ._.
Caput: fine, go for it
Darvan Hallan: Was a 10, then.
Caput: You eat him. Deathray and all
Caput: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Darvan Hallan: Om nom nom
Spencer Creed: "I wanted his death ray"
Caput: roll at +2 please
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10+d10+d10 => 5 + 6 + 2 = 13
Caput: (to darvan)
Caput: OK, you feeel the deathray going off inside you. Ouch.
Caput: You're still ticking though
Caput: another lightening bolt
Darvan Hallan: I attempt to vomit up the DEATH RAY.
Adrian Lemont: What's the evil timer on the bomb? And did my 1 get me killed with deathray?
Caput: ok, roll at 1
* Darvan Hallan rolls: => Invalid expression:
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10 => 5
Caput: you got a leg shot off
Caput: bomb is not ticking
Adrian Lemont: (I'm broken again.)
Adrian Lemont: "Must... fix..."
Adrian Lemont: goes for the big red button again.
Caput: you fail at vomiting. THat is a severed hand
Spencer Creed: (ewww)
Caput: there are buttons and things all overt this
Caput: it's huge
Spencer Creed: he means the bomb button
Adrian Lemont: I take a guess!
Caput: ah
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d6 SCIENCE => 5
Spencer Creed: YOU FOOL
Spencer Creed: I was going to help you!
Adrian Lemont: what science have you gotten?
Caput: darvan just rolled a temporal paradox
Adrian Lemont: lol
Caput: roll succes please
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10 => 3
Darvan Hallan: Oh crap.
Adrian Lemont: lol
Spencer Creed: I SPEND AWESOME
Adrian Lemont: (wasn't your roll)
Spencer Creed: (because I still have 4 awesome)
Caput: As the core begins to overreact, holes in space start appearing
Caput: A deathray beam fires out of one.
Spencer Creed: (can I call up awesome to save us?)
Caput: --I'm comin' ta getcha gandpa!--
Spencer Creed: "what?"
Caput: fatperson roll
Darvan Hallan: At?
Caput: -1
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10+d10 => 1 + 7 = 8
Darvan Hallan: Ohhhh boy.
Caput: BLAM
Spencer Creed: -_-;
Caput: Fatman has a hole in his FACE
Adrian Lemont: woo!
Adrian Lemont: he doesn't need that
Spencer Creed: walk it off, you pansy!
Caput: roll 1 die fatman
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10 => 7
Caput: you are still alive due to being an a,iel
Caput: alien*
Spencer Creed: "clearly the infidel doesnt need that"
Caput: A skinnt guy of gabby's species steps out of the holw
Caput: hole*
Caput: the core is burning brighter than ever now it's not being tended to
Darvan Hallan: I shoot at him with my stun gun!
Caput: roll at +1
Spencer Creed: HE IS YOUR SON!
Darvan Hallan: (It's only a stun gun.)
Caput: (grandson, but yeah)
Adrian Lemont: (he's a doppleganger)
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10+d10 => 6 + 6 = 12
Adrian Lemont: (he's actually also your father)
Caput: ok, you stun him
Caput: he fall on the floor asleep
Darvan Hallan: I relieve him of his DEATH RAY.
Caput: I bet you do
Spencer Creed: (lol?)
Caput: everyone roll. Alien at -1
* Adrian Lemont rolls: 1d10 => 7
Spencer Creed: 10
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10+d10 => 3 + 3 = 6
Caput: ok, gabby gets shokked by purple protonic lightening
Caput: He;s ok, honest. Hardly smoking at all.
Spencer Creed: (wait, how could gabby aim with no face?)
Caput: Ouch
Caput: he has a face
Caput: there's just a hole in it
Spencer Creed: ah
Caput: What's the plan now? THem space holes are getting bigger
Adrian Lemont: I haul myself up to the bomb, and check if my button pushing has done good
Spencer Creed: "I think its time Muhammed, Hadeeb, did something!" Awesome spend.
Caput: it's ticking
Caput: what are you spending it on?
Spencer Creed: science word
Spencer Creed: of...
Caput: ok, go
Spencer Creed: nanoseconds?
Spencer Creed: (hoo boy, this can go really good, or really bad. fast)
Caput: success roll?
Adrian Lemont: (escaping with nanoseconds to spare! or blowing up in a few nanoseconds)
Spencer Creed: 6 thank alah!
Spencer Creed: I was kinda hoping for time dilation though...
Spencer Creed: no idea how to use nanoseconds to save us
Caput: You hear the voice of the prophete in your head! "Run my son! If you get out now, you can continue doing my work, escaping with nanoseconds to spare! You are destined for greater martyrdom at the awesomeforce hq!"
Darvan Hallan: Once more I spend AWESOME to summon the Might of Words of Science!
Spencer Creed: "besides that making no sense, I shall do so!"
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d6 AWESOME => 2
Spencer Creed: *Runs*
Darvan Hallan: Damn, fat again.
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10 => 4
Darvan Hallan: CRAP
Darvan Hallan: XD
Adrian Lemont: Legs are not needed for running! Roll!
Spencer Creed: (guys even after we level the place, we still have a problem...)
Caput: Ok, you all run
Spencer Creed: (we have to get HOME)
Caput: I assume
Darvan Hallan: Yes, I am attempting to flee also.
Spencer Creed: (and we leveled the target as well, to say the least)
Spencer Creed: fat man gets -2
Spencer Creed: for being so fat
Caput: OK, lightening is now coursing through the building
Caput: but you run like hell. It always seems nanoseconds from touching you.
Caput: You get out the building on the other side. It's raining fat again. Hard. All roll, fat bloke -1.
* Darvan Hallan rolls: d10+d10 => 1 + 9 = 10
Spencer Creed: 6
Caput: oh, and machanic -1 for one leg
* Adrian Lemont rolls: 1d10 => 3
Spencer Creed: (no one likes a fat guy)
* Adrian Lemont rolls: 1d10+1d10 => 3 + 9 = 12
Spencer Creed: (or a man with no leg)
Caput: Tragicly, the fat guy is consumed in lightening. He inflates, a lot. Then he goes pop.
Spencer Creed: on the upside, the indestructable jump suit is at least hanging on to it
Adrian Lemont: lol
Caput: The mech is burned. Badly. Ouch
Adrian Lemont: "Yyzisnthalistan..."
Spencer Creed: (what?)
Caput: You can keep going though, honest. THere's even a ship ahead.
Spencer Creed: (hey, not my fault somone made it rain FAT)
Adrian Lemont: (he's not being very coherent, on accoutn of the ouchies and lack of blood)
Caput: (deahtrays burn you)
Caput: (lol deathtrays)
Spencer Creed: Hadeeb grabs the mechanic, and keeps running for the ship.
Caput: Ok, you make it to the ship
Spencer Creed: "can you fix a ship?!"
Spencer Creed: "it may need it!"
Caput: There are smeerps in it, complete with jackflappen
Caput: "Uh, who are you guys? What's that purple stuff?"
Darvan Hallan: (On the note of being vaporised by lightning, I shall away for now. brb!)
Adrian Lemont: "You smell like fire. Hadeeb smells like fire..."
Caput: OK, bye
Spencer Creed: once inside, hadeeb buckles up the mech, and then buckles himself in. "TAKE US HOME NOW!"
Spencer Creed: "Fly now!"
Caput: "Yes sir. I dun wanna die!" THe ship takes off
Adrian Lemont: (Go Go Gadget Spaceship!)
Caput: ZOOM
Caput: "Where to? We got nowhere to go."
Spencer Creed: I still has a deathray!
Adrian Lemont: (to the awesomeforce!)
Adrian Lemont: (so that I can get my spleens back)
Spencer Creed: "we fly, to AWESOMEFORCE!"
Adrian Lemont: *title music!*
Caput: "OK. You're awesomeforce? THat's so cool."
Spencer Creed: (and once again, hadeeb has failed another martyrdom)
Caput: "I remember when that was just a tv show."
Caput: (you guys done? Because unless there's something more you'd like to do, that's almost it)
Spencer Creed: the end
Caput: THe planet explodes.

good times, good times, hadeeb the failed terrorist. what kind of terrorist you ask? a terrifying terrorist!